Sometimes when I watch Catfish I wonder how people can do this to others. How do you show a picture that isn't you, make up lies about everything, and constantly be hiding who you are? How can people say it is a confidence booster? Is it confident to hide behind an avatar?
I think it's similar to the people who troll on the internet, when your hiding behind a screen people are brave.
I would hate to think I bully anyone online, and work as hard as i can to keep the net a safer place, because like it or not the toddler is better with electronics than I am.
I may not be perfect, but most days I am pretty content being me.
Thursday, May 5, 2016
Wednesday, May 4, 2016
Potty Training! Scary!
We started underwear and potty training steps, and it is so scary. The toddler has been showing us she is ready for a good while now, running to specific places to crouch and poop, trying to take off her diaper before and after she pees, but I have been hesitant because she is not the best at speaking to communicate yet, she can tell you what she wants with gestures and signs and doesn't seem to care to speak unless your really not paying attention to her, or she really has to tell you she didn't do something, and we take a lot of road trips so she won't be able to communicate her need to use the bathroom as well as a mommy would like, but she is outgrowing the largest size of iPlay swim diapers at 20 months old, and size 6 huggies are even too snug after a big meal.
So we bought Pull Ups which we will probably use at night until we wean off the full bottles around bed time, and underwear, and we have been spending more time acclimating her to the potty she has been peeing on since she was 6 months old. It was really about curiosity then, sitting when mommy sat since she didn't want to be apart and she would just go most of the time, this is different she is more mobile, more opinionated, more fun.
Tonight she had a dry hour before bed, with a little potty sitting and playing up and down with her panties, we will try for longer tomorrow, and more the day after that, until this process is done, wooooo. I just hope she doesn't use the diaper free time to pee on the cat like she did every time she had naked time when she was itty bitty.
So we bought Pull Ups which we will probably use at night until we wean off the full bottles around bed time, and underwear, and we have been spending more time acclimating her to the potty she has been peeing on since she was 6 months old. It was really about curiosity then, sitting when mommy sat since she didn't want to be apart and she would just go most of the time, this is different she is more mobile, more opinionated, more fun.
Tonight she had a dry hour before bed, with a little potty sitting and playing up and down with her panties, we will try for longer tomorrow, and more the day after that, until this process is done, wooooo. I just hope she doesn't use the diaper free time to pee on the cat like she did every time she had naked time when she was itty bitty.
Monday, May 2, 2016
Acupuncture with Fertility treatments
I started acupuncture tonight, because with the toddler the first cycle failed, then I had 3 sessions of acupuncture before our IUI with her, and here she is BAM! Quintuple the follicles, with no change in the meds. This may not be the norm this is my actual experience. So after this last failed cycle, we started acupuncture again. Here are someone else's facts on the matter. it's nice to have 45 minutes to just sit, and not worry about the toddler because she is home with daddy. We will be doing this twice a week until IUI and once a week through the first trimester, up to 30 sessions (because that is what insurance covers, and that is an important factor).
On that point 8 more days of birth control. Which is still, even being poked with 20 needles, the weirdest part of my fertility journey yet. Oh you want to get rid of a cyst? Take birth control. I never knew birth control could reduce cysts, I knew it could be treatment for keeping them at bay, but I didn't know it was more aggressive than that.
An odd thing I keep thinking about is how to pick a donor, be is sperm or egg. We have only had to pick sperm donors, and we went with my blood type (there is an old wive's tale that if the baby is your blood type you will have less morning sickness), C's hair color and eye color, CMV- (because I am and there is no reason to risk my ability to give baby blood if we don't have to) and then by education, the top with education in our filter had allergies, and we wanted to reduce allergy risk with all my allergies so we went with the second on the list. Donor 2789. I am sure other people have different processes, heck our sperm bank even photo matches to the dad if you want. Because science is awesome.
On that point 8 more days of birth control. Which is still, even being poked with 20 needles, the weirdest part of my fertility journey yet. Oh you want to get rid of a cyst? Take birth control. I never knew birth control could reduce cysts, I knew it could be treatment for keeping them at bay, but I didn't know it was more aggressive than that.
An odd thing I keep thinking about is how to pick a donor, be is sperm or egg. We have only had to pick sperm donors, and we went with my blood type (there is an old wive's tale that if the baby is your blood type you will have less morning sickness), C's hair color and eye color, CMV- (because I am and there is no reason to risk my ability to give baby blood if we don't have to) and then by education, the top with education in our filter had allergies, and we wanted to reduce allergy risk with all my allergies so we went with the second on the list. Donor 2789. I am sure other people have different processes, heck our sperm bank even photo matches to the dad if you want. Because science is awesome.
Sunday, May 1, 2016
5 days shy of 20 months
... I breast fed my daughter for 5 days shy of 20 months. I promised her a year, she conned 5 days short of 20 months from me. I can't even really say conned, she convinced me though.
It was a tough journey. For the first 5 weeks she didn't gain weight, we tried everything, and learned she was getting a fair quantity because of weighted feeds, so they tested my milk and I had low fat low iron milk, the low iron is not a shock since even taking 4 325mg ferrous sulfate pills a day I am extremely anemic, like my normal number is 9, after the iron pills. So we supplemented, and she finally started gaining weight (she was gaining height and head circumference, but not weight) and now she is well above the charts, has been since she was 6 months old. She decided she was done with formula at 10 months, which her doctor was fine with since she was still breastfeeding and we were able to incorporate whole cows milk.
So then when December came and I met with the RE she asked me to cut down, so that my cycle while returned and regular would not be effected, so we stopped boob when the sun was down, no more night feedings. Though she still got to have it for nap time, and comfort during the day. Everyone was okay with this, the toddler and my doctor.
Then came Friday. We took the toddler to lunch at one of her favorite restaurants. She got upset because she dropped the temperature toothpick from her steak which is how she likes to eat her steak, and started throwing a fit. She repeatedly tried to remove my shirt, not to feed but to hold my boob, we were seated directly across from the men's room, and with my PTSD resulting from sexual trauma, it was insanely hard on me. I told her if she kept it up she would not breast feed any more. She kept it up, and we reached the point of done. Today was day 3 without it, she hasn't asked again, and it's safe to say we are done. I might miss it eventually, I love the bonus snuggles from it, but I did miss having some part of my body to myself. For a month (hopefully) any way.
It was a tough journey. For the first 5 weeks she didn't gain weight, we tried everything, and learned she was getting a fair quantity because of weighted feeds, so they tested my milk and I had low fat low iron milk, the low iron is not a shock since even taking 4 325mg ferrous sulfate pills a day I am extremely anemic, like my normal number is 9, after the iron pills. So we supplemented, and she finally started gaining weight (she was gaining height and head circumference, but not weight) and now she is well above the charts, has been since she was 6 months old. She decided she was done with formula at 10 months, which her doctor was fine with since she was still breastfeeding and we were able to incorporate whole cows milk.
So then when December came and I met with the RE she asked me to cut down, so that my cycle while returned and regular would not be effected, so we stopped boob when the sun was down, no more night feedings. Though she still got to have it for nap time, and comfort during the day. Everyone was okay with this, the toddler and my doctor.
Then came Friday. We took the toddler to lunch at one of her favorite restaurants. She got upset because she dropped the temperature toothpick from her steak which is how she likes to eat her steak, and started throwing a fit. She repeatedly tried to remove my shirt, not to feed but to hold my boob, we were seated directly across from the men's room, and with my PTSD resulting from sexual trauma, it was insanely hard on me. I told her if she kept it up she would not breast feed any more. She kept it up, and we reached the point of done. Today was day 3 without it, she hasn't asked again, and it's safe to say we are done. I might miss it eventually, I love the bonus snuggles from it, but I did miss having some part of my body to myself. For a month (hopefully) any way.
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